A is for Artist
The word artist is more often than not used to describe a person who paints or writes music, but a well-educated person knows that art is so much more than that. It is a process or product of deliberately arranging elements in a way that appeals to senses or emotions. Can you not call yourself an artist if you bake homemade bread that smells and tastes of comfort, and allows those who eat it to feel loved because you care for them enough that you will bake them a fresh loaf of bread for no reason except out of love? Even the simple things like decorating for a birthday can qualify you as an artist. You deliberately arrange elements in a way that brings joy when we see them. If this doesn’t qualify as art, I don't know what else has the right to.
B is for Badass
When people hear the word badass, they think of warriors holding swords, jumping off buildings. That might be what some people first imagine, but not me. I think about someone who has an attitude and sticks up for themselves and those they love. I think of you. How many times have you pulled your mama bear claws out because someone was trying to do you or one of your children dirty? You have a voice and you’re not afraid to use it! Tell me that’s not badass.
C is for Ceaseless
You are so stubborn, meaning that no matter how much pain you are in and how many times we tell you to go sit down, you are going to fight us. I know that’s who you are. When your body isn’t working, your mind is. When you do anything, you do it while planning out your next task. I don’t know if you understand that you have six kids, five of which still live at home and will help you with whatever you need. You don’t stop until we threaten to tie you down. Think about all of these factors and tell me that you aren't the exact definition of ceaseless.
D is for Dramatic
I don’t know if you could be a paid actress or a poker player because your poker face is terrible, but in the name of Sesame Street are you dramatic. I’m not saying this as a bad thing. It’s always great to have a dramatic audience to spice things up. Your dramatic flair can make me smile more than the actual joke, how you will start with a small laugh and gradually make your way up to a scream laugh with tears falling down your face. Then the fact that in annoys Emily is just *chef’s kiss*. I love the way you react to movies you’ve seen at least a dozen times, telling the main character to not do what you already know they’re going to do. Your loud gasp and then exhale after a jump scare. See? Being dramatic is more fun!
E is for Encouraging
There isn’t a lighthearted way to introduce why I chose this word. You probably know but let me explain anyway. Ever since I almost died at seven days old, even though I don’t exactly remember that far back, you were there. You know what I’ve gone through in my life, how I’ve been stuck in the darkness and what I’ve done when I was there. You never judged me for anything that I did, although you did give me some well needed tough love every now and then. You held me and let me cry as I told you how I felt that I didn’t want to do it anymore. You encouraged me and told me exactly what I needed to hear, even if it didn’t seem like it at the time. I want you to know that there is absolutely no way that I would be anywhere near who I am today without you. Your love, your safe arms, your tough love, and your encouragement all got me through the darkest years of my life, and I’ve finally made it to the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for making this possible.
F is for Factual
I’m gonna be honest. It's kinda ironic, and I have no idea how you do it. No matter what a conversation is about, you are always ready to hit us with those facts you read from an article in bed that very morning. How is it that Emily will talk about how she heard that a kid in an Oklahoma school died, and you’ll just say, “Ya, I read an article this morning that the third cousin of Oscar the Grouch has a grudge against that entire city and is now in hiding after killing his thirty-second victim in five days.” I kid you not, the whole room just looks at you because we are in no position to even question you anymore. Just make sure to keep us posted on Oscar the Grouch’s third cousin.
G is for Godly
Despite everything you have gone through in your life and everything you have seen people you love go through; your faith is still a force to be reckoned with. Your faith has gotten you and others through so many hard times. You can believe that your strong faith has warded people away from you, but it has pulled the important ones in and held us close. Your Godly attitude has helped encourage me to carry myself in the world the way I do. We may be very different, but You have taught me that having a Godly attitude in life will never steer me wrong.
H is for Hardheaded
You are the most hardheaded person I have ever met. Some people say that about me, and I must have gotten it from somewhere. When you have your mind set, it is set. May the odds ever be in anyone’s favor to whoever tries to change your mind. That can be a good thing like when you say, “No, I will be going back with her. Now get out of my way, you pathetic little pea-on.”
I is for Impatient
Being impatient tends to be a constant cause for laughter in our house. You like to say that if you’re not early, you’re late. That is definitely better than being known as the last person to always arrive at the party (Aunt Kristin). You being impatient might cause us to never be late, but it also gives us plenty of family bonding time when we get to where we’re going 30 minutes early. I guess I can’t blame you because who else would you rather spend time with? When we’re at the movies and you’re the first in line besides one other family of three in front of you, anyone who knows you can tell that you will full on Hunger Games sprint, broken or not, to the theater for the very best seats. Impatience and accepting nothing but the best for your family go hand in hand for one hell of a mother.
J is for Jocose
Yes, mother dearest, be impressed by my extensive vocabulary, for I am a reader and an author. Anyway, in case you didn’t know, jocose means to be happy or cheerful. You might not always feel that way, but I have so many memories of you in which you were the light in the darkness. Do you remember when I was in the hospital and you decided that my hospital room was too boring. That very day, which was also the day I was having surgery, you and I went out and finger painted out by the Mickey statue? I dyed each of my fingers a different color, one of which was purple. That caused the doctor to think that he had cut off my circulation with the pulse ox. You then fought against everyone when they said our pictures were a fire hazard. I wanted to go home, but you were jocose, my light in the darkness.
K is for Karis, just kidding. K is for Kissable
You are absolutely kissable! I mean you have six kids, come on now! You don’t know it, but when you are in so much pain, I just want to kiss you on the cheek. How else do I show you that I’m here for you and that I love you without hurting you more? You know I will gently caress your foot when I tell you I’m going to bed but look at your beautiful face. It’s so dang kissable!
L is for Love
This may seem like a simple one, but it might be the most complex of all. Your love seems to know no bounds. It’s either that or you actually don’t find me as annoying as you say you do. No matter how many times I ask you if you need me to hold your hand while you pee or say Momma 50 times in 30 seconds, you always love me. At least I think you do. I can piss you off to where you want to murder me and eat a slice of victory cake, but then next thing you know, you and I are singing Bohemian Rhapsody in the car at the top of our lungs on the way to a doctor’s appointment. I can tell you that I did exactly what you told me not to do and left you upset to no end. Then I could come back into the room ten minutes later crying because I’m having food trouble. Your attitude changes so quickly because of love. Thank you for your unconditional love.
M is for Mom
Lots of women can be mothers, but it takes a special woman to be a mom. This woman will go store to store to find the one food that I can eat. She will wake up every hour on the hour at night to take my temperature. This woman is my Momma, and, yes, I came out of her gina, but she has also raised me with more love and understanding than I could believe a mom of six could give a middle child. Momma, Mom, Madre, Ma, Mother. I may call you every name under the sun but know that every time I say one of these names, I say it with a deep love that has had 18 years to mature, even if my personality hasn’t. I think you are the standard of what a mother should be.
N is for Nurturing
I think when most people think about a mother being nurturing, they think about her holding a cool cloth on a child’s head while singing them lullabies all the while the child has a thermometer in her mouth. My idea of a mother being nurturing is you making us drink clear gatorade and eat saltines after we throw up into the purple halloween bowl, which is the same bowl we all eat popcorn out of for family movies night two nights later. I think of you tucking me in my bed and turning on the air purifier and oil diffuser with lavender oil in it after I shattered the bones in my foot and you figured out I wasn’t sleeping. Forget cliche lullaby singing. Throw up bowl popcorn and broken foot tuck-ins is where it’s at!
O is for Observant
And I thought I was observant! You call it the mommy instinct, and it must be something like that because dead gum! How is it that anytime I finally own up to something you say, “Ya, I had a feeling, but I wanted to wait until you told me.” That is just not fair. I can’t even count up all my fingers on one hand of times I’ve told you something that you didn’t know at least a little bit of. There is a dude in Greek mythology named Argus Panoptes, also known as the all-seeing. He’s called this because he’s got 100 eyes all over his body, whether he has them on his butt and what he sees down there, I don't think I want to know. You had to have picked up your techniques from him or something. Call the FBI BAU. They could use you. You’d just be like, “Oh, that person blinked. He’s guilty.” Ya, I’d say it’s safe to say you’re observant.
P is for Petty
Heck ya, my momma is petty as hell! Any time something even remotely unpleasant happens, you’re just like, “Alright, here’s what we’re gonna do.” I must say that I freaking love it because every evil genius must have a partner in crime. Do you remember when the lady as Marshall insulted Mazie and caused a scene? Your first thought was fight then revenge. You said, “Ok, when we walk to the check out, you have to get as close to her as possible and act like you’re in the right because you are.” People always say to look out for southern sisters. Another one to look out for is petty Mommas.
Q is for Quick
Yep, I’d say you’re pretty quick. If we had video tapes that we could playback of us walking around Medical City when I was little, I swear I was running. Forget leg day at the gym! Follow Momma around Med City for a while before you are used to her speed. Also, how do you make a bed so dang fast? I thought you were supposed to have a pain condition. You’ll just be like, “Karis, come help me get these sheets on the bed.” I’ll grab a corner, sneeze and look up to see the bed made with three new decorative pillows and a mosaic by Jennifer hanging above it. Like dead gum! I don’t know what other secret abilities you’re hiding from me, but the possibilities terrify me.
R is for Rebellious
Yes, you read that right. I must’ve gotten my “rebellious” streak from someone. Let’s go over some possibilities shall we? Wheat is at the top of your allergen list, is it not? Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love our donut dates, like more than life. That doesn’t change the fact that we get donuts with wheat and get rid of the evidence before we go home. Getting rid of evidence was my idea, but we’re not gonna acknowledge that. What about that pretty little second piercing in your ears? You must’ve gotten them for a reason. Why don’t you model them for me?
S is for Sassy
The sass is strong with this one. After three kids, you get to the point where you decide to make things interesting. I must admit that you succeeded because you have entered an inescapable battle of wits. I have no idea when this war started, but I am determined to see it to the end. I bet you also recognize this exchange:
Me: Ouch!
You: What’d you do this time?
Me: I hit my elbow on the coffee machine.
You: Well don't do that next time.
Me: My goodness! Why didn’t I think of that? I shall come to you for that elbow saving advice next time.
You: Please do.
I don’t know why we’re like this, but anyone not accustomed to it would either think we’re hilarious or crazy.
T is for Tenacious
There are so many times when it seems like you take blow after blow from this world, yet you persevere. People say I’m a fighter, but I don’t see it when I’m standing next to you. I see you; it inspires me to try to do more. You give me courage through the hard times with your strength, wisdom, and humor. It is because of you that I’m here. When I was going through my worst years, I saw you fighting to stay strong. That gave me courage to keep fighting to stay strong. You are one hell of a fighter. Let’s hope you passed some of that strength onto me.
U is for Understanding
Understanding has always been a critical part of our relationship. I decided on the word understanding, not because you understood what I was going through, but because you understood that I needed someone. I needed someone to hold me, to listen to me, and to love me unconditionally. You understood that you could not know what was going on in my mind and exactly what I was going through, but you would sure as hell do your best to understand the circumstances and my actions. This was a key ingredient of my happy childhood. I don’t think anyone could have handled the situation better.
V is for Vehement
This word just describes you as a whole. Being vehement is characterized by energy, vigor or passion, very ardent, fervent or eager, forceful, and intense. You might think less of yourself now that you have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome but let me give you something to think about. Even when you don’t have energy, you refuse to show it, and you compensate with your vigor and passion. Wherever you get the chance, you do things with such energy, enthusiasm that there is no doubt that you are fighting with everything you have to live the life you deserve. You are always so eager, so fervent when it comes to your family and those you have adopted into your family. You are going to give them their best chance at life. However, you can help, you insist that you will do it. There are so many examples of how you are vehement, but I’m just going to say this. Every time someone asks me who my hero is, whether it is a random questionnaire or a person trying to get to know me, I say my mom. How could you not be? You are my hero, and I don’t think I will ever be as great a woman as you are, but I will sure as hell try to be a daughter worthy of my hero.
W is for Weleful
When a person is weleful, they produce prosperity and happiness and are blessed. You might be thinking How do I create prosperity? I might be able to see happiness, but prosperity is just insane. Let me tell you. You help nurture spiritual prosperity. Without you, there is no way I would have as strong of a hold on Christ as I do today. Yes, Daddy is a chaplain, but he can only do so much. You are the one who helped me through my hardest times and talked about God with me, even when I didn't want to hear it. That is how you produce prosperity. You create happiness just by being with me every day. Even so much as a random hug or joke can create immense happiness that you can’t imagine. You know you’re blessed because, of course, you have me. We have each other. Everything good in this life and what is going to come after is why we are blessed.
X is for Xenial
Did you know that xenial is just a fancy word for hospitable? Well, it is, and hospitable you are. When I say that, I mean it. You will prepare a five-course meal, have an after dinner craft prepared, and a medieval nightgown and extra bed to sleep in in case they need to stay the night. Along with you being hospitable, you need an Oscar! When someone is not welcome, you put on the act of champions. You only feed them a three-course meal, give them a coloring book and some twistables and a mat on the floor because all the rooms are full. You do all this in such a way though, that no one would catch on unless they have been taken under your wing before. You are xenial and a great actress!
Y is for Young
I am not mocking you. I’m 18 years old, and I don’t have sixty something year old parents with cataracts. Man am I glad you and Daddy got busy early. We can still have mommy daughter days without having to worry about you hitting our heels with a walker. You are younger than a lot of parents, and I’m going to enjoy that. I might joke about you being old and blind, but you know that you're one of the younger parents out there. You’ve gotta own it!
Z is for Zesty
You read that right. You are zesty. You are enthusiastic, loud, and exciting. Heck ya, you’re the life of the party, you zesty momma! If I had to go somewhere, and I didn’t know anyone but you, we would have a jolly good time because you always know you to liven things up. If they played the right music, you and I would kill that karaoke, despite us sounding like dying cows giving birth to a couple of seizing cats. You also know how to make all the killer desserts. Tell me this isn’t a recipe for a great time. Another reason why you’re zesty: your favorite flavor of anything is lemon. The zest is real!
Happy birthday, Momma, and I hope you’ve enjoyed learning the alphabet with Momma!
Written July 2021
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